Pre-Internship: Week Three

The next week was interesting. There was a bit of a misunderstanding and we were not prepared for Monday. Our co-op had expected us to have a piece to work with for each group. We didn't do this because we were gone and busy with Optimist Festival. So Monday was hectic as well. We thought on our feet and taught things we knew. We taught an improvisation lesson in jazz that morning. Many of the students refused to improvise. I felt helpless. We told them everything we could to make it easy, but several of the girls completely refused to participate. It made me realize that this is something that should be taught to kids when they are young and not as easily embarrassed. I learned that the students are afraid of the complexity of improvising, so starting by explaining the theory is crucial. They also told me that they were afraid to make up a rhythm, so ensure them that starting out simple is excellent. The students really taught me how not to teach improvisation.

We then worked with the junior concert band and we were also unprepared to conduct for the same reason. I chose a piece I knew before hand, but unfortunately the score was condensed. This made it difficult to rehearse the group as I didn’t know who was supposed to be playing which part. The piece I chose was really slow. Rehearsal numbers were given every five bars instead of every phrase. This made it difficult for the students to find the phrase when sight reading and it made it difficult for me to stop and start again because I had to analyze on the fly and find the phrases. The rehearsal worked out ok, but it really emphasised how important score study and preparation are.

The next day went much better. We were prepared for both groups and I chose a piece that I loved playing and love listening to: Come Sweet Death by Bach. I explained to the students that the piece was not about fearing death but about accepting it. I also told them that this piece was very important to me because it was the first piece of music that made me feel that indescribable feeling. I said when those chords occur and you get that feeling (and I held my hands out, palms up, shaking). When I did this the kids looked at me like I was insane, and I realized I was where I belonged, but I just had to find a better way of explaining myself. This lesson was by far my favourite with the music groups. I got to work with a piece that I love and I was well prepared to rehearse the piece.

But the students still didn’t get what I loved about the piece and this aggravated me. They wanted to do it faster. I thought I was already going too fast for the piece.  So to show them the powerful chordal structure that Bach created we took it at triple time. They said it was more fun to play but it sounded awful. And although they may not fully understand theory and harmonic structure/progressions, after discussion they realized why the piece had to be that slow. This was my last teaching moment with the music group and it made me happy to end on a good note.

The next day didn’t go as well. The only class I had to teach was my English 9 class. The teacher, my co-op, was gone and we had a substitute. The regular T.A. was also gone. Three strangers attempting to keep control of 30 grade nines one hour before lunch on a Friday was not an easy task. It started out ok, but as people started to finish up their assignments things went bad. I had a plan for what they were to do when they finished, but I was not able to explain this to the students. From the beginning of class there were people who needed help because they missed class or people who were acting atrociously. I basically spent the entire class babysitting, and teaching on the side. One student put a virus on a computer a blamed it on the others. There was a group of six students that were out to make that class the worst part of my day. When I asked one of them why he was acting like this he said “it’s school, I don’t need to behave. I pay attention and do what I’m told to at work, but I don’t have to do that here.” Then I told him that this was my work and he should be able to understand that he’s making my job harder by acting that way and he said that’s what I should expect. It’s my job as a teacher to deal with bad students. I get that there are students out there that I will have to discipline and deal with in these ways, but for a student to tell me that that is my job was discouraging. He actually thought about this and made the transition from thought into speech and this was disturbing. This student, who obviously understands good social behaviour, was making my day worse on purpose. I tried to keep positive and remember that it wasn’t personal, but I couldn’t. There was 10 minutes left, and with no one to turn to I gave up. I kept the students as quiet as I could and waited for it to end.

I would like to believe that in my own classroom, or with my co-op present I would act differently. I’ve never felt as alone as I did in that classroom with two substitute teachers whose names I did not know. I felt so disheartened, discouraged and disable. But things turned around as soon as I walked out of the classroom.

The handicapped boy from band was in the hall. He asked me if this would be my last day and I said yes. He thanked me and said good-bye. He then asked about my partner, if it was his last day too. I said yes. He told me to thank him as well and say good-bye. He expressed how happy he was that we were there. I had to say thank you quickly and walk away because his words were so touching they almost made me cry.

After this we went to Choral Festival. I’ve never been in a happier place in my life. Students from six different schools coming together for the joy of music. Hearing the groups individually was amazing. They were all so supportive of one another. Even students from schools that might normally be rivals were jumping over pews to meet each other. There was a true sense of community in the church that afternoon.

The smallest group from Martin went up to sing. They had no more than 12 people in their choir. After the girl introduced them she said “and yes, this is all the people we have” and someone in the audience started cheering for them. They sang their song. Coming from a small school there is not a lot of competition to be in the choir, so they had some musical weaknesses, the most obvious being fear and lack of men. But they sang their piece with pride. Before they finished their piece there was an uproar of applause, and one of my students stood up starting a standing ovation of over 600 peers. The little group walked off the stage and as soon as they did the crowd began to cheer: MARTIN, MARTIN, MARTIN. The girls had no idea what this meant and a teacher called them up to the stage to receive their uproar of applause.

It is moments like these that make the hard parts bearable. There are obvious things to learn from the difficult days, but sometimes it is difficult to move past. But when you can remember these moments it makes the hard times a little easier to deal with.

Finally the entire choir sang and I’ve never heard anything like it: 600 students singing to a crowd of 25. To be a part of that day is something I’ll never forget and I hope I will continue to be a part of things like this. When the group sang the African song at the end, with soloists from all the schools and school colors intermingling in the pews it was a moment of pure joy and proof of the values of music.

There is good and bad with everything. The bad can feel overwhelming, but if we remember the good and learn from the bad, things feel much easier. The hurdles seem lower when followed by pure joy. And the joy seems more deserved when accompanied by hard times. I learned more in the three weeks at a high school than I have in most university classes. Although there is a lot of theoretical value attained from the classes at the university, nothing compares to the real life experience I received working with with my co-op and all the other practicing teachers I have had the good fortune of working with.

When I share my experience with people I have a feeling that they don’t believe me, especially when I share it with the students. I feel that people think I’m sugar coating things and trying to suck up. This is simply not the case. I received nothing but value from my experience; value in the form of good and bad experiences, kudos and constructive criticism. I can only hope that my internship will be as valuable.